玫瑰的荒涼與華美

最近突然
很想保護別人
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
想把你們因失望或憤怒而扭曲的臉
變成笑臉:)

大概是這陣子我生命中最親的三個人
都不在我身邊吧的原因吧
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
第一是我的阿公
以前小時候爸媽不在家時
我都在阿公小小的家裡度過
陪他看一些奇怪的綜藝節目
吃著一陳不變的稀飯
配著他的呵呵笑聲下飯
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
但是這樣總是被我嫌棄的阿公
除了節儉外還有另一項嗜好
書法
喜歡寫字的他總是在我的每本書上
工整地寫上我的名字

但有一天我的同學跟我借字典
當他知道"戴柔"兩個大字是我阿公寫的後
輕蔑地說了聲"你阿公字好醜喔!!"
(國小學生嘛~)
但當時我氣到不行
差點就跟同學絕交了
                                                                               
阿公一路好走~
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
第二是我爸
總是跟我吵吵鬧鬧
這輩子第一個讓我哭的人就是他
從小我就常跟他冷戰
但有一天我們全家去參加他同事的party
我爸那忠厚老實的笨蛋
遊戲輸了
只好玩大冒險
得喝掉加了一隻蟲的香檳
就在即將要被灌入口中時
                                                                               
                                                                               
我不知道是發了甚麼瘋
小學生的我硬是一個箭步
把那杯噁心的酒搶下來
直接砸到垃圾桶裡
                                                                               
當時的我比現在可愛多了ˊˋ
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
最後是我媽
我見過最疼孩子的母親
也是這世界上僅存的
比我神經還大條的人
                                                                               
去年我們一起去遙遠的埃及
看到金字塔的側面時
我媽像是返老還童般
興奮地大叫
還開心地買了頂畫有法老的帽子
(老實說不怎麼好看......)
                                                                               
但後來幾天後在一望無際的沙漠上
我忘了是為了甚麼芝麻蒜皮的小事
我們吵了起來
後來在爬沙丘時
媽的帽子被強風給刮走了
她最愛的帽子就在沙漠上彈跳
媽就硬是追上去
但不再年輕的身體完全追不上風的速度
在沙漠上跌了一跤
                                                                               
我跟另一位男團員賣力地
一起追趕著調皮的帽子
但卻有其他團員在一旁旁觀
開心地取笑者我媽跌倒的模樣
讓我簡直氣結
接下來再也沒跟他們說半句話
                                                                               
那頂帽子現在安全地躺在我家了
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
小時候的我既然都能保護別人
現在的我更可以吧?
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                           

讓我保護你